You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
