at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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