I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
