you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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