Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
