So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
