Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
