I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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