i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
