We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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