It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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