Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
