Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
