Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
