the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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