At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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