Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
