i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
