im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
