Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
