I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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