Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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