Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
