you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
