You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
