I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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