he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
