Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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