Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You ate ashes out of my bong
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
