Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
