Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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