I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
