i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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