I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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