The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
