She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
