Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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