Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
