is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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