meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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