Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
