Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
