I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
