White coat. Heels.
I hate your face
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
