Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
