I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
