I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
