I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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