My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
