You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
